Change Is Upon Us!

(baby girl's blessing dress)

In just a little under 3 months we will be welcoming a new baby girl into our family. To say that I have mixed emotions about our new arrival is an understatement. While being very excited to meet this dainty little thing and finally getting to meet the little person who keeps me awake at night by spinning circles inside my ever growing belly, I am also very nervous. I am not a fan of change. I can alter the paint color on my walls, daringly sport a new shade of lipstick or select an item off a restaurant menu that I have never tried, but when it comes to life altering events, I am overcome with anxiety, a feeling of instability and inadequacy. I remember feeling the same way before Emerson was born, sitting on the floor, against the wall having a panic attack and crying uncontrollably just 2 weeks before he was born. But, it faded quickly as our family dynamic developed and routines were made. I discovered the change that occurred wasn't a bad change at all. It was a "hard" change, but not a bad one. It was a change that, in retrospect, was exactly what we needed in our lives and I am humbled by the fact that sometimes we just need to leave it to our Heavenly Father to take the reins in life and steer us in a direction that He sees necessary. I need to see change as opportunity. I need to see it as a chance to better our lives, to progress and challenge our strengths. I need to see it as a way for our lives to be lived at their full potential.  As scary as it may be, I really do look forward to so much that this change will bring all too soon! I am excited to see her daddy hold her in his loving arms and melt as he realizes that her tiny finger now has him wrapped around it and that his heart just bursted because he discovered that his heart now holds a place for 2 special girls in it. I look forward to seeing Emerson stroke her bald head and lean in for a kiss and still refer to her as "his best friend" as he currently does to my belly. I look forward to holding her close to me and rocking her in the chair, hearing that deep breath spill from her mouth as she slowly fades into a deep sleep. While change can be hard and it can also be unexpected at times, I know the rewards and blessings that can come from it. I know that change doesn't have to make life a struggle, but more of a quest. I also know that change may alter our lives, but it can stabalize our hearts.
Bring it on baby girl!

Someone Got Big

This is Emerson's birthweek. Yes, that's right, "week". Days just aren't good enough around here. 

I panic a little when I think about how quickly those days have turned into years and how they have flown by. I vividly remember looking in the backseat of our car on the way home from the hospital and seeing his tiny newborn body. I remember thinking how scared I was of him. How fragile he was, how inadequate I felt. I remember how tired I was from lack of sleep and how frustrated I was from not knowing how to console his crying.  I remember thinking my life would never be the same. And I am so glad that it is not. 

This little guy has brought more happiness and fulfillment into my life than I could have ever imagined. My love for him is a mighty love. A love that is felt and stored deep inside the soul. If I think about it too much, I cry. It is unwavering and steadfast. He is my champion. It is my goal to be his. I want him to be a good boy. I want to be a good mom. He makes me laugh, he includes me in his imagination, he tells me when I am out of line, he comforts me during hard times. His smile is medicine and his arms around me is the greatest feeling in the world. He is the perfect kind of silly. He is a tease and a jokester. 

Oh, this kid. What would I ever do without him? 

Emerson, you are wonderful, special and kind. You are tender. You have a hunger for what is right and what is true. You listen and obey. You are wise beyond your years. An old soul. You don't understand mean people. That is a good thing. Just stay away from them. You crave kisses and hugs. You are very good at showing your love. You are a marvelous and willing helper. Thank you for that. Service is love. Your giggle is contagious. You don't take yourself too seriously. You find joy in life. That's what it is all about. 

Keep smiling kiddo. 

Mommy loves you, oh yes I do. 

Oh My 4th of July!

The 4th of July is my very favorite holiday! Yes, I love Halloween and Christmas, too, but there is just something special about a summer celebration! We got home from an 8 day road trip on Sunday night (photos to come) and I wondered if I had it in me to keep the party going for one more day. Who am I kidding - of course I did! This year we attended the annual Yarro party in Wallsburg and as always, Ralph and Jackie outdid themselves and were indeed the host and hostess with the mostest! We had such a great time and we always look forward to attending this party every year! 

Ralph had the lake stocked with fish this year, so you know what that means...

that Wes will cease any opportunity to pull out the ol' fly rod! Despite the masses of cotton floating on the top, he was able to catch one! Catch and release only for this guy!

Canoeing on the lake was a favorite activity for many. Emerson included!

I could squeeze his guts out! 

They never fail to include all the kids in on the fun! 

Emerson was in heaven the whole time!

All I can think of when I look at this photo is "Lucky Dad!" Such sass coming from "his girls". 

"My boys" as Wes would say.

Swinging from the rafters is a must!

The party barn where dinner was served followed by a pie contest! BBQ and pie - it was pretty all American! 

I may not look so great in this pic, but I love Wes and Emerson's expressions so we'll use it and pretend I don't look angry in it.

I wanted to take this horse home with me! He got spooked when someone would set off any fireworks. He would run around his pasture in circles and then come back for a little love and a scratch!

We learned something new about E that day. He LOVES to dance and dance all day and night! When I asked him why he didn't ever dance like that at home he said, "We don't have a ball that makes sparkles and lights on the wall". Oh, no wonder.

Check out those pants! Now that is a sure sign that this kid had a great time! Clean kids are boring kids! Also, the humidity was so high yesterday that it made his hair curl up and stand on end! 

I figured out my camera's ISO right as the fireworks were getting set off! They were a little illegal and a lot rad! It was the perfect ending to a perfect day! Looking forward to next year. 

Thank you Yarro family for such a great time! We love you and America! 

Good Times

Maybe demanding a little attention from the Lord above isn't such a bad thing. Apparently I got his attention and thankfully my efforts were not in vain! Thanks for the hand up big guy - you're truly the best! 

Summer has officially started and we have squeezed some seriously good times into the last few days. I saw a blog post awhile back where the family made a summer checklist and I thought it was such a great idea that we made one for our little family, too. There are a lot of lofty goals (canoe the Jordan River? I don't know, Wes!) on the list but we are not the kind of family to take summer lightly. I trust that we will get most of it done! Most.
(just added to the list: 5K MUD RUN!) 

We kicked off the list by attending the Chalk Art Festival held at the Gateway this past weekend. Wes was working so Mr. Little Jeans and I headed out to see the talent scribbled across the streets! 

There were so many great drawings, done by all ages and all levels of expertise! 

 It drew in thousands of people and there also was live music and games for the kids. It was fun to see so much activity! We like to be a part of the happenings and the hustle and bustle of downtown SLC!

 I love Norman Rockwell so this was my very favorite! Not only do I love the original image, but the chalk artist did a very good job recreating it on the street!

This drawing of the Monster's Inc. movie was done by a young artist and it was Emerson's favorite! He wanted a picture by it even though the ground was hot and burning his hands! 

Enough already!

I really like blogging. Seriously, I do. But you know what really makes blogging all the more worthwhile and significant? When you actually have something to blog about. As of right now, I am feeling a little frustrated that we have been dealt a bad hand...for the last 6 freaking months! I'm pretty tired of it. I would like to blog about all our fun experiences and family outings, but there just hasn't been any. For the past 4 weeks the whole family has managed to get sick. Really sick. Beyond belief sick. Stay away from our house and nail a quarantine sign to our door sick. You know, because we TOTALLY needed that after such a stellar year we have had already! Seriously. 

 Heavenly Father if you are listening, this is my plea to you: 

ENOUGH ALREADY! O.K? There are so many things we would like to do, places we would like to visit and people we would like to see. Places that you yourself created and people you yourself placed into our lives. Isn't that ironic? You managed to make such an intriguing cosmos for us all to dwell and behold, all within 7 days, mind you, so it seems like you are a pretty talented and gifted guy. Wouldn't it be great if we were actually able to go out into that incredible world, all with awesome wonder!? Novel idea, isn't it? Do you think maybe...just maybe you could be a little kinder to us from now on so that we don't have to chalk 2011 up as being the absolute worst in the history of the Holmes family? Think about it and let me know. I'll be sitting here waiting to hear from you. Not patiently, however, because I feel like that whole virtue has since ran it's course. But I will be sitting here with my sinus infection-turned eye infection-turned ear infection, holding my child while he coughs up a lung onto my shirt while my husband slaves away at his job, body aching and fever rising along with the excruciating feeling of swallowing shards glass down his tender and sore throat, and wait for you to just cast a tender blessing upon this house that all will be well. You can do it, I know you can. I believe in you. Literally. You seem like a pretty cool, decent, "down to earth" (no pun intended) guy. So I've heard. I've heard this a lot...all my life, actually. On Sundays, in particular. As hideously disgusting as begging and whining is, I'm not above it. PLEEEASE make us well. PLEEEASE stop trying to teach us a lesson, PLEEEASE just do nice things for us, now. I think it's time and I think we might deserve it. And, as always, we would be forever grateful. 

Love you, miss you, wish you were here...

Your earthly defeated daughter, Amy

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Please don't leave me a spiritually boosting comment/reminder. I don't really need them...this was all in good fun! 

(mmmmkay Mom?)

Pedal Pusher!

Before I had a child and even way before I was married,  I would daydream about what "it" all would be like. You know; family life. After all, daydreaming is what consumes nearly every spare minute of my time and with my aberrant imagination, I think I'm pretty good at it. I pictured my future husband (who of course had to be handsome and charming) and I devoting our weekends to the aisles at Home Depot, picking out paint colors for our first home. While painting said house, we would dab paint on each other's noses and think it was cute and giggle over how silly and in love we were. I had these visions of myself holding my baby in a rocking chair with said handsome husband standing by my side, hand on my shoulder, smiling slightly while soaking it all in with copious amounts of adoration for us. I pictured us all picnicking in the mountains, basking in the sun and frolicking in the meadow and bending down every few minutes to pick a wildflower to press between my Steinbeck novel. And let's not forget about all the "firsts" in life: I daydreamed about baby's first steps, about our first soccer game/dance recital attendance and most definitely...about my child learning to ride their bike for the first time. I pictured this said event in the front of our first home - that was neatly painted with silly love and while said adoring handsome husband cheered on said child who was wearing some sort of shirt I made from dried wildflowers. Today I realized two things: 1) that life is not a distorted sitcom from the 50's and 2) that while some dreams do come true (I got the adoring handsome husband at least!), there are also some that don't.

Teaching (by myself, mind you!) my 3 yr. old to ride a bike in the aisle at Wal-Mart was definitely never an image I concocted and then enjoyed revisiting in my head. Never. I didn't want it this way and my head is still trying to accept it's unconventionality. 

(p.s. don't you love the boots!)

At least it's done and the skill has been learned! He did a great job and regardless of how and where it happened, the look on his face was still quite dreamy! He was so happy and pride radiated from his beaming smile! We will be pricing out bikes tomorrow and purchasing one for the little guy. At last,  I can act out my long time fantasy of family bike rides around the neighborhood while waving to everyone pruning their rose gardens on warm summer days and then coming home and cooling off with fresh squeezed mint basil lemonade! How perfectly exciting! And Wes, if you ever dab paint on my nose thinking it's cute and silly, I will spit on you and then cry.

More Moab, Please!

This weekend, we packed up our Subaru and headed southeast for a little red dirt action! We have been checking the weather forecast for several weeks and patiently waited for a perfect time to go between Wes' shifts, only having to reschedule on several occasions. We were a little nervous that we wouldn't be able to go yet again when Emerson came down with a bad fever and cough on Wednesday. I figured if he could be sick at home, he could be sick in Moab, just the same! Maybe breathing in a little fresh, warm air for a change would do him some good! I cannot even tell you in words how good this trip felt - it did me some good! It was medicine for my soul! We had such a great time and the weather was BEAUTIFUL! We even.....wait for it......WORE SHORTS! Let's not talk about how ridiculous my white legs looked in them.  Wes kept his sunglasses on for safety! 

Our first stop was Arches Nat'l Park. This place is faaaaaar better than Canyonlands! If you have a family with small children and are thinking about hitting Canyonlands Nat'l Park....think again! It is so much freaking driving on windy (not windy as in blowing, but windy as in curvy!) roads, you can't see very much from the car and there aren't really any short, kid friendly hikes. Booooo!

When I told Emerson that we were going to a place that had lots of red dirt he said, "Dirt!? Can I bring my diggers and dump trucks?" Of course you can, little man! Knock yourself out! 

 Little E perched on Wes' shoulders next to Balance Rock.

We had to take the small hike to see the famous Delicate Arch instead of the longer one that takes you right to it. Touring this park with a toddler is so much different than it was 10 years ago! 

 We put our physical endurance to the test and ran up this steep sand hill. Have you ever tried this!? It will kick your trash! I was so tired and out of breath! I want to do it again! 

Running/jumping down it is way more fun!

We didn't realize when we booked our hotel room (it's still a little too chilly for camping!) that this past weekend was the beginning of the annual Jeep Safari. We went to see some rock crawlers attempt Potato Salad. So scary! This event draws over 4,000 people each year! 

We also didn't realize that our son was an avid climber! He loved all the rocks, hikes and sand to play in. This place is paradise for little boys! Don't worry...Wes was right by his side but stepped out of the way so I could get the picture. We are not bad parents, I promise! 

It is also paradise for big boys! 

We loved exploring and finding our own adventures!

How lucky we are to live in Utah and have such a great place, that is so close, that we can just run off to on a moments notice! It was a perfect little get away!